The working Momma's circle of hell

I was determined when heading back to work that my mornings would be more peaceful. I would rise (and shine) an hour before the kids. This means getting up at 5am. I was going to do my makeup and brush my hair. I actually had to find my hair brush to accomplish this. I found my signature scent while on maternity leave, which leaves me feeling like an empowered and put together woman. I was envious of all the women at work who looked so fresh with perfect make up and hair. They never smell like sour milk and their uniforms are wrinkle free. I was going to be this woman.

Today was my third day back in the office. Troy boy (3.5) HATES sleep. He always has. Last night he woke up 4 times until I resigned to allowing him to snuggle between Rob and me at 3am. Gianna (1.5) lost her binky and hell hath no fury like a bink addicted toddler that cannot find her bink in the middle of the night. Sweet Harper girl (10 weeks) woke up twice to nurse. Oh and the #philadelphiaEagles were on in Pittsburgh so of course I had to watch my birds destroy the Cowboys! I didn't get to bed until midnight.

Fast forward to my 5am alarm. I hit snooze but realized my commitment to myself. I was going to be one of the beautiful put together women at work. I got up and stumbled into the bathroom to start my morning routine. Ok, morning routine might be used loosely. I use a facial cleansing wipe, brush my teeth, dab a little concealer over my dark and puffy under eyes. A little color over the lids, a swipe of mascara, and a 12 hour stay lipstick. It takes 5 minutes total and that is with a toddler hanging on my leg.

Then I hear it. The sound of a hungry newborn. I run to bedroom and scoop her up, silently praying and swearing that she does not wake up Troy. Maybe the swear words cancelled out my prayers because Troy popped up, resembling a prairie dog on caffeine. Damn. There goes my morning. Harper is now up as well. We go into the kitchen and I smell my coffee brewing (if you do not have a programable coffee pot, you need one). Troy talks NON STOP. He is loud and never short on energy. I hear Gianna, who normally sleeps until I wake her. She is pissed to be woken by her brother so early. More silent swear words from me. How is it already 7am!?! Remember the sour milk comment? Harper vomited all down my scrubs. More silent swearing. I grab a pair of scrubs from the unfolded clean basket. I honestly have no idea how long it had been sitting there. Wrinkles. Great.

7:30am and I hear nails clicking on my hard wood floor. Ugh. The dogs. I forgot about the dogs! Outside, outside, everybody outside. The song from the bubble guppies is what is playing through my head. When did this become my life? More silent swearing. The dogs do their business and quickly come back in for their morning treats that hide my boxer mix's thyroid medicine. Troy is responsible for feeding the dogs. "Mommy. Ummm.... There is a huge mess". Dog kibble. EVERYWHERE! Gianna is crying. I am still not sure why. Harper is just taking it all in from her perch on the kitchen table.

8am and lunches are packed! Each toddler had a fruit, veggie, whole grain and a protein. Oh and I packed myself a salad and some cut up veggies with hummus. Double Win! I packed everything I needed to pump the night before because nothing is worse than arriving to work and having to go home because you forgot something to pump. I have put breastmilk in unused urine cups before. Tell me you are a nurse without telling me.

8:15am- damn. I forgot the 8am daily leadership call. Like I could of heard it because Gianna was still whining and Troy was still talking.

8:30am and all three kids were in the car and we were on our way to school/daycare! Drop off was a nightmare! Harper, easy. Gianna, moderate. Troy, death con five. Screaming, yelling, clinging, begging me to let him go with me. I pry my stage five clinger off and run to the car.

I arrived to work at 9:10, sweaty and smelling the white stain on my scrub top praying it was deodorant. It was spit up from Harper. Great. Cue leaking boobs because it has now been almost 4 hours since last feeding Harper. face palm. Signature perfume meets sour milk. More swearing. Also I found out nothing puts me in a deeper rage than someone who walks slowly in the middle of the hallway! LET ME PASS!

11 exercise minutes on my apple watch, 143 calories burnt, 5 stand hours and more swear words than I can count later I fire up my computer and get to work.

I try hard in my daily life to combat my struggles with gratitude. I am grateful for a job that affords me the flexibility to work around my kids. I am grateful for a job that I truly love and feeds my passion but damn. I am tired and I have not even started my paid job yet.