The Overwhelmed Momma

I like to pretend I have it all covered. The full time working mom, "boss babe" (even though I hate that term), the home chef, the housekeeper, spend hours at the gym (ok more like 30 minutes), amazing meal prep, patient and fun mom of 3, 3 and under. When I was on maternity leave with my youngest I snapped. I am not talking the normal frustration or annoyance but literally filled with rage when I was told to quit my job because I will never get this time back with my babies, which resulted in this blog. I am really good at faking it but then I decided I was contributing the overwhelming and unrealistic expectation society places on the modern day mom and was determined to just be real. Right now, that realness is really overwhelmed.

We all see the posts about working like you don't have kids and momming (yup. It is now a verb) like you don't work, working out and maintaining your home like you don't have kids but also not missing a precious second with them, dating your spouse like you don't have tiny humans attached to you. Cooking amazing and nutritious dinners that your kids will always eat (I laughed out loud at this thought). You get the picture. I fell into the trap and perpetuated this absolute bullshit.

In my efforts to end the ridiculousness of it all, I am going to say it loud and clear: I AM OVERWHELMED! I tend to overfill my plate- new baby, 2 toddlers, demanding and stressful job, new blog (I have absolutely no idea how to really get this thing going other than my small network of mom friends so it is even more time consuming), diet and exercise program to lose this extra 20 lbs I have been carrying around, focusing on my marriage, solo parenting while my husband is in season, which means he is working 80+ a week and traveling on the weekends, and keeping my house clean. Oh and I completely forgot about family and friends. Yup, this feels like too much, impossible even. As I am sitting here in my sweats and messy mom bun (that I am pretty sure has some mini muffin and strawberries in it from my daughter's breakfast) I am unleashing all of these emotions- exhaustion, frustration, straight up mom rage, anxiety, being completely touched out (welcome home honey but for the love of all things holy do not even come near me).

Will I take anything off my plate? Not today because I am not ready to decide what I need to let go of to preserve my mental health but realistically speaking something has to go. Today I will try to organize, reorganize, and try again. Truth be told, the only way to accomplish even half of my list is to ask for help. I will call in the troops! My family is about 5 hours from us so help is limited but I have learned how to ask for it. I have learned throwing up the white flag is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. I am overwhelmed because I am trying to do it all, all by myself. I am not my best self because I am overwhelmed by all of it. Do not fall into the trap that the "do it all mom" does it all alone because no amount of organization and discipline will enable you to do it all. You need help. We all need help. We need to be able to let something go when it the pile of to do's becomes so heavy your mental health suffers. Don't be afraid to reach out and say out loud "I am overwhelmed and I need help". You won't regret that level of honestly with yourself and those that love and support you. You got this momma but not alone.